


Loving Her

by liveandlove1989



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Interspecies Relationship, Overview of entire series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 17:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18721762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liveandlove1989/pseuds/liveandlove1989
Summary: Liara fell in love with her slowly, but all too easily. There was just so much about Shepard she adored.





	Loving Her

Liara fell in love with her slowly, but all too easily. There was just so much about Shepard she adored.

* * *

**1\. Her Bravery**

The entire structure shook around them, pieces of ruin falling. Liara felt a pang course through her at the lost potential. So much was being left behind, destroyed, forgotten. She wished she'd studied more before witnessing its collapse.

The platform raised and both Shepard and - Goddess, who was the other human woman? - her companion stood before her. A guard, almost, as she rested against the controlling console. Her legs felt weak from their lack of use.

They came to a stop. A Krogan warlord and too many Geth greeted their sad party of three. Liara's breathe seized when he requested her by name.

"Ouch, I just can't do that," Shepard spoke, feigning a look of almost pain. "We just found her, ya see. I'm not quite ready to give her up."

The warlord guffawed. Liara looked at the Commander as if she'd lost her mind. The human woman scoffed and raised her assault rifle, and before another word was spoken, she was firing.

The first few shots were blocked by a shield. Liara fell to the ground behind the console and threw up her own barrier. Shepard stepped into her line of sight, close enough to touch if she dared reach out, as the heat sink of her pistol roared in indignation.

Liara watched as the woman - who had no reason whatsoever to face a Krogan for her sake - took on that plus a few stray Geth. She was like a Warrior Goddess, this collected but bloodcurdling sort of beautiful.

Liara had never seen something so inspiring.

* * *

**2\. Her Compassion**

It was a molten hot anguish that surged through her veins, and for a split moment it seemed as if the whole world could burn and she'd feel utterly empty watching it wither. And then it was just cold. A numb, almost defeating sort of cold that enveloped her being and left her tongue glued to the bottom of her mouth.

Kaiden didn't know what to say, so instead moved on to scout their borders. But Shepard-

Liara, kneeled before her mother, breathed deeply through her nose and blinked slowly. Shepard's hand rested ever so gently atop her shoulder, there and yet not. Present but not quite intruding. Liara only took a moment to raise her hand, cover her Commander's.

The seconds ticked by. Images of her life on Thessia - so very long ago - fluttered through her mind.

And then Shepard spoke. Quietly, purposefully, offering. "The best of her lives on in you, Liara."

Liara swallowed hard. And though she didn't respond, she squeezed the woman's hand a tad bit harder, and cried.

* * *

**3\. Her Consideration**

The humming of the ship beneath their feet calmed her overactive heart. Nerves, she blamed. Nerves and a certain childish anger at her own inability. She had never turned from the unknown, always craved that extra sense of understanding.

But when it came to Shepard, when it came to this wondrous woman - made of flesh and bone just like her, but not like her at all - she was afraid. So very afraid.

Liara took an unsteady step forward and her hand shook when she reached out. Shepard met her halfway and their eyes locked. She wasn't expecting what she found.

Raw desire. A smoldering need. But underlying it all, confliction. Hesitation.

"We don't have to do this, Liara. I'm not expecting anything. This is completely and solely your decision." Even in her conviction, her voice wavered.

Liara's resolve strengthened. She wanted this woman. This one beacon of light, this pillar of all that was good and right in this world. She wanted the rush and the flare and even the whirlwind. If tomorrow wasn't promised, and this was her only chance, she was determined to make it count.

"I know what I want, Shepard. You."

And when they met, and everything crashed together and time lost all meaning and there was nothing but touch and taste and their mingled heartbeats, Liara forgot she was ever even scared.

* * *

**4\. Her Patience**

Shepard kissed her fervently, as if the room melted away and it was only them, only ever them. For a moment, Liara believed it. To feel the warmth and softness of her lover's skin again, to taste her lips and know it wasn't a memory she'd have to wake from - it was overwhelming.

But then it hit her. Hard.

And she broke away and found herself grounded, staring into eyes she hadn't seen in two years. Into the soul of a woman she'd thought lost.

Her breathe stuttered and her heart seized and she had to pull away. Distance. She needed it right now. After what felt like a lifetime of mourning, it was too good a thing to be true that Shepard was here, before her.

A flash of confusion and pain crossed Shepard's features and Goddess, to know she herself was the cause of it, was excruciating. But then there was that smile. As if it'd never disappeared. As if it hadn't been tore from this reality so viciously for so long.

Liara put on the face of a broker. Posh and dignified and... Not her. They spoke briefly, a few agonizing moments where nothing seemed right and heartbreak seemed inevitable.

When Shepard stood to go, she let her team leave first. A Salarian and Garrus - who Liara hadn't spoken to in over a year. Liara was on the verge of tears, her fingers bunching the fabric of her gown so very harshly. She wanted to call Shepard back. To kiss her and hold her and just... Know. Know this was real. Know that her lover was truly that and that she hadn't lost her.

She was preparing to let loose a biotic field of rage as soon as that door slid shut when Shepard turned. And their eyes met, and the woman smiled. A sad sort of gesture that didn't quite fit right on her soft face.

"It's okay, Liara. I understand. Just, I'm still here for you. Whenever you need. Don't forget that."

Liara was grateful when Shepard left, if only so she could cry alone.

* * *

**5\. Her Earnestness**

The battle was over. They stood, breathing heavy, the air alive and frantic as it bubbled with electricity. She didn't care that tears mapped along her cheeks or that the comms behind her buzzed with activity.

Liara rushed forward, enveloping Shepard in a desperate embrace that conveyed all she felt. It was surreal, somehow, that strong arms wrapped round her waist and lifted her, a lithe but very solid body pressed surely against her own.

Shepard held her, and she buried her face into that auburn curtain and breathed as if her lungs couldn't get enough oxygen. Sweat and leather and something spicy that was all Shepard. All the woman she loved.

They stayed like that for a long, drawn out moment. And then she pushed back and her hands cupped warm, flushed cheeks and she kissed her lost Commander. Feverishly and urgently and pleadingly.

Shepard didn't stop her when Liara pulled away. Just smiled that smile and locked their gazes and spoke.

"Told ya we'd do it, T'Soni."

And Liara would have laughed, she truly would have, if Shepard hadn't dipped back in and stolen her voice. Stolen what little remained of her heart.

* * *

**6\. Her Honesty**

It was almost eerie how quiet she seemed under the circumstances.

"Shepard?" Liara asked uncertainly, taking the moment as they began their final stretch to pause and question.

Shepard looked her way without turning, gave a sort of acknowledging noise that was all throat and gruff. Liara frowned and stepped forward to lean closer.

"Are you okay, Shepard?"

She wasn't expecting a positive response. Both humans had just come from Earth, after all - had seen first hand how devastating this war was to be - and were now stuck in a race against Cerberus they weren't completely sure they hadn't lost yet.

But it was still a surprise to see Shepard's facade crack, see the grimace that briefly painted her features before she could reign it in. She swallowed hard and shook her head, sighed quietly. When she turned her head, her visor hid her eyes, but Liara heard the pain.

"Honestly? No. Not really. But we've got to keep trying. If we give up now, there'll be nothing left to worry over, anyways."

The grim atmosphere weighed heavy. Liara opened her mouth to respond.

That was when the bomb went off, and their tram came to a screeching halt, as did their conversation.

* * *

**7\. Her Weakness**

Liara waited silently in their bed, alone, the only light coming from the aquarium on the opposite wall. She waited and she watched as the fish darted among one another. How simple an existence.

Shepard came back to bed nearly half an hour later. She slipped beneath the sheets gently, trying not to disturb what she assumed was her sleeping partner. Liara was having none of it, though. It was high time she said something, before Shepard wore herself out with the lack of sleep she was getting.

"Nightmares, again?" she asked.

Shepard yelped and jerked sideways, nearly falling off the bed. She turned her head and glared at her Asari lover, though the seriousness of the gesture was lost among the dark circles taking refuge below her eyes.

"Jesus, T'Soni. Warn me next time before you jump start my heart."

Liara reached across the empty space between them, cupped Shepard's cheek and caressed it with her thumb. The skin was clammy yet cold. "What's wrong, Shepard?"

Her lover's gaze flew up to the ceiling. She huffed and reached for the sheet, pulling it up more to just below her chest. "Nothin'. Just a little restless, is all."

Liara scowled. "Restless for an entire week straight?"

Shepard's eyes darted back. Her brow furrowed. "Yeah? What's your excuse," she bit back, though it wasn't nearly as harsh as it sounded.

Liara didn't respond immediately. She moved her hand further up, tracing a path across a strong cheekbone and up past the woman's temple. Shepard's hair was damp with either sweat, water, or a mix of the two, but she still pulled a strand aside to play with.

"Please tell me what's wrong, Shepard. I'm worried about you." The sincerity of her tone was like a punch to the gut.

The woman looked away again. Her teeth worried her bottom lip a long, drawn out second. And when she next met and held Liara's gaze, there was a vulnerability there that ached.

"I'm scared, Liara," she whispered into the air between them. "I don't know what I'm doing. Everyone - they all expect me to just, know. How to stop the Reapers. How to end the war. How to... just... survive. But I'm..." She paused, and Liara swore she saw a shimmer of pleading flash across her face. "I'm just one person, Liara. I'm as lost as everyone else."

And then she looked away. And her chest did this strange sort of heaving that Liara realized was a sob. Her eyes went wide.

She moved then, wrapped her arms around Shepard and pulled her in close, and refused to let up even when her lover pushed at her as if to get away. She held her and she kissed her hair and she whispered sweet nothings for hours, loving words that didn't assuage the tears but that meant something regardless.

Shepard wasn't invincible. She was a woman. But that made loving her so much more wonderful.

* * *

**8\. Her Strength**

Her heart was an unsteady thing, ramming into her ribcage as Legion came to a harsh stop. She tore from her seat, emerging from the vehicle and turning, searching.

They'd done it. They'd severed the Reapers link with the Geth. They'd taken down a Reaper. And yet, all Liara could comprehend was a twisted, bottled panic that swelled to near bursting.

Shepard. Goddess, if anything had happened to her -

But no. No, there she was. Whole and towering above the defeated remained of an enemy one hundred times her size. A blazing symbol that this, all of this, was real.

Tali came up beside her, shotgun loose in her grip as she gazed up at their Commander. Even behind her mask, Liara could sense the admiration.

"Keelah," she breathed, and Liara finally let out a quiet, shaky sigh as Shepard turned, heading their way.

Keelah indeed.

* * *

**9\. Her Resolve**

Liara couldn't find the strength to even cry; it seemed so unreal. So helpless. She heard herself repeating the promise she'd given to those soldiers, heard herself believing there was a chance.

But there wasn't, was there?

Each step forward felt like its own eternity. As if she damned each and every soul she'd spoken to in that encampment. When she reached out, it was with numb fingers and nothing left to lose.

Shepard bristled beneath her touch before pulling away, looking at her a mere second before shaking her head and turning, walking back into the smoldering ruins of what once held their chance. Now, it held only defeat.

Their comms had gone dark. Kaiden lowered his head in respect and walked off to the side, quietly calling for Cortez to pick them up as Liara simply stood there.

She watched as smoke and fire rose in the distance. As majestic and beautiful buildings fell as if made of sand. As beams of raw energy carved marks in what she once considered a home.

How do you fight an enemy like that?

Liara attempted to swallow, and the motion stuck and she choked on her tongue before realizing it was a sob she was unintentionally fighting down. She didn't want to be here anymore.

Then Shepard spoke. A raspy, half angry half beaten voice that hardened at the edges and dug deep into her skin.

"This isn't over, Liara. That son of a bitch will pay. They all will."

Liara couldn't find it in herself to argue.

* * *

**10\. Her Love**

They laid in comfortable silence, hands locked between them. Liara could feel each inhale Shepard took, heard the steady beating of her heart as she rested her head on her lover's chest. The only light came from the aquarium, and the air was cool enough that Shepard's skin was a comforting haven.

Liara blinked and sucked in an unsteady breathe. "This is it, isn't it?"

Shepard's grasp on her hand tightened. "Yeah, it is."

Soft, blue fingers dug into her stomach as Liara's head came up, and their gazes locked. Shepard was all stoicism and courage and -

And then it melted, right before the Asari's eyes.

"I love you, Liara." It was so quiet a confession, and her eyes told everything even as the features of her face morphed into open, earnest wonder.

Liara smiled a smile that didn't reach her eyes, but her words had never rang more true than that moment. "I loved you before I even knew you, Shepard. I will love you until the last breath I am allowed."

She dipped her head, and their lips met sweetly, gently. She opened her mind without asking, felt as Shepard relaxed beneath her and let her slip inside without hesitation.

Liara deepened the kiss, her tongue probing as she focused. Shepard's breath hitched and the world twisted around them. When they parted, they were no longer in the Captains' Quarters.

A rising sun lit up the background, and Shepard glowed even as Liara untangled their fingers and cupped her cheeks.

Her thumb drew lazy circles across the freckled skin she'd come to adore. "I am yours, Shepard. I will be by your side always. No more excuses; no more distance. As soon as this war is over..."

Shepard grinned, but had to blink as emotion took over. "All those little blue children, yeah? As rich as I'll be after all this mess, we'll buy a nice place somewhere. Thessia, if you want. And we'll have a pet, and a workshop in the basement, and-" Her voice broke, and she bit her lip harshly.

Liara smiled again, but this time it was genuine. The same tears welling in her lover's eyes found their way into her own.

"It'll be perfect, my beautiful Commander. But you have to come back to me. Promise it, Shepard. Please, I-I can't lose you again."

Shepard let out a weak sort of chuckle, and she leaned forward. Her kiss was needy and pleading and heartfelt.

Liara knew it was the best promise Shepard could give.


End file.
